The Beginning

It's difficult to pick a spot at which to begin. The days where I wondered if something was wrong? The days where I knew something was wrong but nobody listened, tagged me as a worrywart? Any one of those would do, I guess. It's been hard every step. Every minute wondering what's wrong, what's going on, what's different, how to change it- if it even can be changed.

Jennsen was about 14 months old when I first suspected there was a problem. I have two older boys and both developed at above average rates, so when at 14 months, all Jennsen said was Dada and Mama, I began to worry. She had made some developmental milestones as well up to that point that were deteriorating, eating with silverware and her playstyle was very odd. She didn't play with toys so much as wrecked them. I heard alot about what a precocious child she was. But wasn't she gorgeous? I think that's part of what kept everyone from paying attention. She's just beautiful, no bias. They looked at her and said, "Oh she's so pretty, I'm sure she'll be fine."

Well, she isn't fine. She's Autistic with Disruptive Behavior Disorder NOS and has Pervasive Developmental Disorder, as well as sensory integration issues. She now sees a Speech-Language Pathologist 3x a week as well as her Occupational Therapist once a week and we're waiting til she's 3 so she can get in line for other treatments and therapies. Medicaid in their infinite wisdom has determined that autistics below 3 don't qualify for many of the services for treatment. Research very clearly shows that the younger they are when they receive treatment the better but what do those silly doctors know? In the meantime, we wait and I study and read and study and read and bang my head against the wall. Clearly I'm going to be the one doing the bulk of the work with her. I'm ok with that. When you become a parent, you sign on for the full package. Sitting back and letting others do all the work is neglectful and an insult to yourself as much as to your child. There is always a choice and I choose to help Jennsen achieve whatever 'normalcy' I can.

It's really tough, but we're seeing quite a bit of progress. Jennsen is learning American Sign Language and has been going for a few months now to her Speech therapy. She's picked up a few words already and is trying to learn more on her own through her Signing Times video. If you've never seen them, please check them out. They're really wonderful. I work with her constantly.

I quit my job last year right before my husband had major back surgery and opted to stay home to care for him. At that time, we didn't know what was 'wrong' with Jennsen, we just assumed she was a slow starter. Over the next few months of my husband's recovery, I started really pushing to have her tested to find out what was going on. Finally, early in the year ('07) we leaped through several hoops and finally got Jennsen diagnosed. As I was already home with her it was a pretty easy decision for me to continue to stay home while my husband prepared to rejoin the workforce after 2 years out due to his injuries. Her psychologist suggests heavy parental involvement so this works out well for us. Hubby's job will take him out of state and across the country for weeks at a time, so it's pretty much just me and Jennsen here. I'm thinking this is actually going to be a benefit as we have plenty of 1-on-1 and no distractions. Hubby will be continuing to learn ASL (American Sign Language) on the road so that as we progress here, he can keep up.

It's been less than half a year since she was diagnosed and I'm already seeing progress, so I hope if we keep up this pace she will gain some language skills that will help to alleviate some of her frustration and allow us to communicate. Keep your fingers crossed for us, our journey's just begun.